kleptomaniacal showgirls

For those of you who don’t read Purrs & Scratches this is the funniest article I’ve seen in a while.

Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street

I will paraphrase with the quotes I like best.

[she] eyes the door, ready to flip the lock at the first sight of the ringleader’s pink jumpsuit and fluorescent red wig.

The last thing [they] expected to threaten their survival was a crime ring of transvestites.

…like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, … using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.

All of a sudden our UPS guy dove out of the store and tried to tackle them and there’s little Eric from next door on the sidewalk with a bunch of stuff he managed to grab from one of the guys.

In the ensuing weeks, the gang of transvestites continued their reign of terror.

So the store-owners created their own watchdog system unofficially known as the “Drag Queen Alert List,” a comprehensive phone roster of every business on the block with stars next to those who carry guns.

They’re kind of confused because they think they’re women so they don’t mind hitting women, but they’re dudes. If you get hit by one it’s like getting hit by a dude.

** Did you notice my new skill of bolding and italicizing?
It was subtle I know.