People here’s the thing, I want a sidekick, need a sidekick. But really I don’t need a sidekick. Nobody emails me when I’m sitting at my computer and they are sitting at their computer. Who’s going to email me when we are all away from our computers? Maybe if we all got sidekicks we would email each other more.
(yeah I'm still not over the decorative type thing)
(By the way just want you to know, I don't have a formatting bar to make this all easy because I use safari, apparently this is all much easier when you use explorer or something else.)
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
kleptomaniacal showgirls
For those of you who don’t read Purrs & Scratches this is the funniest article I’ve seen in a while.
Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street
I will paraphrase with the quotes I like best.
[she] eyes the door, ready to flip the lock at the first sight of the ringleader’s pink jumpsuit and fluorescent red wig.
The last thing [they] expected to threaten their survival was a crime ring of transvestites.
…like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, … using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.
All of a sudden our UPS guy dove out of the store and tried to tackle them and there’s little Eric from next door on the sidewalk with a bunch of stuff he managed to grab from one of the guys.
In the ensuing weeks, the gang of transvestites continued their reign of terror.
So the store-owners created their own watchdog system unofficially known as the “Drag Queen Alert List,” a comprehensive phone roster of every business on the block with stars next to those who carry guns.
They’re kind of confused because they think they’re women so they don’t mind hitting women, but they’re dudes. If you get hit by one it’s like getting hit by a dude.
** Did you notice my new skill of bolding and italicizing?
It was subtle I know.
Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street
I will paraphrase with the quotes I like best.
[she] eyes the door, ready to flip the lock at the first sight of the ringleader’s pink jumpsuit and fluorescent red wig.
The last thing [they] expected to threaten their survival was a crime ring of transvestites.
…like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, … using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.
All of a sudden our UPS guy dove out of the store and tried to tackle them and there’s little Eric from next door on the sidewalk with a bunch of stuff he managed to grab from one of the guys.
In the ensuing weeks, the gang of transvestites continued their reign of terror.
So the store-owners created their own watchdog system unofficially known as the “Drag Queen Alert List,” a comprehensive phone roster of every business on the block with stars next to those who carry guns.
They’re kind of confused because they think they’re women so they don’t mind hitting women, but they’re dudes. If you get hit by one it’s like getting hit by a dude.
** Did you notice my new skill of bolding and italicizing?
It was subtle I know.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Wednesday’s Child
How can I possibly be a Wednesday’s Child. Full of woe? Me? That makes me sad just thinking about it. Of course they try to put a nice spin on it:
You are a serious person, and try to change things that seem unfair. You make the world a better place! That just means I get pissed off when people cut in front of me in line or on the freeway or when someone gets more a bigger piece of cake, because really it’s just not fair! Man this sucks! If I had come just a little bit earlier I could have been Tuesday’s child, full of grace, having many talents, and are fun to be around. You dance through life! But no I was a procrastinator and now have no coordination or rhythm and make a horrible cheerleader. Sad. It’s not like I can turn the clock back now. But then again I could just start celebrating my birthday a day early and maybe I would get the late bloomers grace? Maybe?
So right now I’m staying with my friend Emily (she’s probably a Monday’s Child- but I don’t know for sure) and yesterday we decided to brave the rain and go to Whole Foods. So we get about one block and it occurs to me what I’m wearing. A pair of black and white swirly rain boots, a green skirt, a brown shirt, a navy blue wind breaker/rain jacket, an orange backpack, a black and white polked dot purse and an almost turquoise umbrella. Not that I’m particularly fashionable in the first place, but realizing I left the house in such an outfit without so much as blinking an eye makes me worry. Just a little. It’s not like I’m four and wearing all of my favorite things. At some point I was trying to put and outfit together and then I just got off course with functionality of it all (there were a few favorites in there- but still). Of course I’m the same person who wants to buy a zip up Washington DC sweatshirt of the side of the road.
So there we were checking out, and there was this nice, attractive man in front of me – he only had a quart of milk. And he commented that I had about enough food for a week. He probably thinks I do my shopping every Monday. Point being, even though I put away the umbrella and took off the jacket, I still don’t think I was wearing and outfit to meet my husband to be in. (Yes he was married I checked, and how cute is it he stopped by the store on his way home (in the rain) to pick up a bit of milk for his wife at home). He was just so charming in those few minutes that you just wanted to ask him how he met his wife and were one should be hanging out to find such a catch. Of course he could probably see that I was a Wednesday Child and thus too full of woe, so there was little point in directing me to the ultra charming because my woefulness would just bring him down. And really charmers look out for each other and don’t reveal to the woeful the secret perfect husband hangout.
Perhaps my lack of color coordination shouldn’t come as a surprise, it turns out I’m also the kind of person who not only leaves an Oreo in the pocket of a sweater but can actually pack that sweater and not realize there’s been an Oreo in until I’m wearing it on my way to work and realize there is no place to throw the Oreo away so I have to put the Oreo back in my pocket.
What Child Am I?
You are a serious person, and try to change things that seem unfair. You make the world a better place! That just means I get pissed off when people cut in front of me in line or on the freeway or when someone gets more a bigger piece of cake, because really it’s just not fair! Man this sucks! If I had come just a little bit earlier I could have been Tuesday’s child, full of grace, having many talents, and are fun to be around. You dance through life! But no I was a procrastinator and now have no coordination or rhythm and make a horrible cheerleader. Sad. It’s not like I can turn the clock back now. But then again I could just start celebrating my birthday a day early and maybe I would get the late bloomers grace? Maybe?
So right now I’m staying with my friend Emily (she’s probably a Monday’s Child- but I don’t know for sure) and yesterday we decided to brave the rain and go to Whole Foods. So we get about one block and it occurs to me what I’m wearing. A pair of black and white swirly rain boots, a green skirt, a brown shirt, a navy blue wind breaker/rain jacket, an orange backpack, a black and white polked dot purse and an almost turquoise umbrella. Not that I’m particularly fashionable in the first place, but realizing I left the house in such an outfit without so much as blinking an eye makes me worry. Just a little. It’s not like I’m four and wearing all of my favorite things. At some point I was trying to put and outfit together and then I just got off course with functionality of it all (there were a few favorites in there- but still). Of course I’m the same person who wants to buy a zip up Washington DC sweatshirt of the side of the road.
So there we were checking out, and there was this nice, attractive man in front of me – he only had a quart of milk. And he commented that I had about enough food for a week. He probably thinks I do my shopping every Monday. Point being, even though I put away the umbrella and took off the jacket, I still don’t think I was wearing and outfit to meet my husband to be in. (Yes he was married I checked, and how cute is it he stopped by the store on his way home (in the rain) to pick up a bit of milk for his wife at home). He was just so charming in those few minutes that you just wanted to ask him how he met his wife and were one should be hanging out to find such a catch. Of course he could probably see that I was a Wednesday Child and thus too full of woe, so there was little point in directing me to the ultra charming because my woefulness would just bring him down. And really charmers look out for each other and don’t reveal to the woeful the secret perfect husband hangout.
Perhaps my lack of color coordination shouldn’t come as a surprise, it turns out I’m also the kind of person who not only leaves an Oreo in the pocket of a sweater but can actually pack that sweater and not realize there’s been an Oreo in until I’m wearing it on my way to work and realize there is no place to throw the Oreo away so I have to put the Oreo back in my pocket.
What Child Am I?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Time for an upgrade
As I’ve mentioned I’ve been in DC for the last two weeks and before that I was in Phoenix visiting my family. And really I can’t believe I don’t have cable. Now in my own little world that’s fine. During the regular TV season there is more than I can watch. But come summer it all just stops – especially if you don’t have cable. For instance – The Hills, now why I care whatever happened to LC and Jason I don’t know but it makes for great summer watching, but I’m all about the 10 spot for mtv – even Making the Band 3, I love P Diddy. Sadly the Hogan family has caught my interest. In fact it kind makes me glad I’m on my way to being old, I wonder if older people like less TV.
Also Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List, surprisingly funny, I guess not so much surprisingly because she is a comic but still, she can be hit or miss I would think. Oh funny thing: I was once a temp for Stella Stolper for two weeks and she was just kicked off Last Comic Standing and it turns out she has this whole dirty housewife/moms bit—I love seeing people I know on TV.
Okay now I know you aren’t going to believe but the Janice Dickinson show—I’m shocked but its good stuff. 4400 also very enjoyable. HGTV in general can occupy me for hours.
Ooh and Made—I love watching Made—everyone gets to become who they want to be in highschool, I wish they had grown up Made, Faking It isn’t really the same—and I believe its been cancelled. But I don’t know what I would even want to be made into these days. Maybe a well spoken, defined ab, scientist.
So to say the least everyone but me and well Catherine (but she has two babies and a toddler) has cable. I think this maybe the summer to upgrade.
Also Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List, surprisingly funny, I guess not so much surprisingly because she is a comic but still, she can be hit or miss I would think. Oh funny thing: I was once a temp for Stella Stolper for two weeks and she was just kicked off Last Comic Standing and it turns out she has this whole dirty housewife/moms bit—I love seeing people I know on TV.
Okay now I know you aren’t going to believe but the Janice Dickinson show—I’m shocked but its good stuff. 4400 also very enjoyable. HGTV in general can occupy me for hours.
Ooh and Made—I love watching Made—everyone gets to become who they want to be in highschool, I wish they had grown up Made, Faking It isn’t really the same—and I believe its been cancelled. But I don’t know what I would even want to be made into these days. Maybe a well spoken, defined ab, scientist.
So to say the least everyone but me and well Catherine (but she has two babies and a toddler) has cable. I think this maybe the summer to upgrade.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Still not cool enough for myspace
There is so much to talk about. I’ve been traveling for the last three weeks and I still have another week and a half before I’m home. I’ve had a great time in Phoenix and DC and have done a ton of stuff but really what I want to discuss is myspace. The black hole of time that is myspace. I still don’t understand it. I don’t know what you do, I can’t think of any good comments to say to people. But I almost have twenty friends and that’s exciting. I figured out how to put the sky on my background and have a pink border. I think my friend’s little sister must think I’m super uncool. First I call her in a panic from across the country saying she must add me as her friend so I can email her and have her explain how to change the background on my page. (now really the coolest move but in my own defense I did figure it out – mostly because I was to impatient for to get back online and do it for me) Anyway she called my page “cute.” For a girl in high school who’s cool enough to likes black and white pictures and has some really thoughtful comments on her myspace page, I don’t think cute and cool are synonymous. But really should I be concerned what she thinks? Well after looking at her page--maybe a little. She has some great photos and she seems incredibly interesting. Funny because I don’t remember her having to much to say to whenever I came by her house. She has the best picture that says “I belong here” (its just a great picture of the mountains and sky meeting – I’m pretty sure in AZ) now I don’t know how she meant it because that’s all its says but I’ve been obsessing about it. Its such a deep statement. And the fact that she even knows. She’s 16. And she has this moment of knowing who she is and where she fits into this world. I just think its kind of amazing, well for anyone, but especially for someone who is sixteen. I kind of wonder what she would have done with my myspace page.
So this whole project makes me want to go out and buy a HTML book because that is some cool stuff and I just really don’t know much about it. The fact that you can just write internet pages with letters and numbers and they all mean something even though its all kind of fake just amazes me. I really wish my rocket scientist husband would come home and explain it to me, because I swear the internet doesn’t really exist except in my computer which I just can’t really wrap my head around that whole concept. Its kind of like a spy and decoder thing—mystifying.
So this whole project makes me want to go out and buy a HTML book because that is some cool stuff and I just really don’t know much about it. The fact that you can just write internet pages with letters and numbers and they all mean something even though its all kind of fake just amazes me. I really wish my rocket scientist husband would come home and explain it to me, because I swear the internet doesn’t really exist except in my computer which I just can’t really wrap my head around that whole concept. Its kind of like a spy and decoder thing—mystifying.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I hope I'm not becoming an insomniac
So I can’t sleep tonight. I’ve been trying for the last hour or so – this is almost never happens to me. But I’m excited tonight and I feel I have a million things I have to do and I can’t really do any of them at 1:30 in the morning. I’ve started looking at houses and condos in the last couple of days. It’s exciting and overwhelming. I don’t know why I’m worried I have lots of friends who have bought houses and they all seem fine. Nobody seems to crazed about it. So it’s only been the last six hours or so that I realize that this is totally going to happen for me, I even went to home depot to look at new bathroom and kitchen fixtures. I could be living in a house with a yard by then end of the summer. Change and the possibility of change is always exciting. I keep thinking about color schemes and bathroom storage. I have no idea what colors I would get but I would like a circle dining room table. This was my first week off in ages. I know most people don’t just get weeks off all the time and its good that I haven’t had a week off because that means I’m working which is always good. But that first week off there is so much to do. The number of people having babies by the end of the year is out of control, and I want to make baby quilts for all of them. So I spend a lot of time driving down to Newport Beach because that’s the fabric store I like best. I ran out of fabric on this one I’m almost done with which means I have to get back down there tomorrow. Three hours is a lot of time for fabric but they have the best selection. I know I must sound boring but I’ve been on a health kick this week which is ending tomorrow. Well not so much ending just moving on to another phase. I’ve noticed that when one is on a very restrictive health plan its makes them very unfun to go out with. I’ve had to turn down seemingly fun dinner offers. And sitting around watching tv all day isn’t nearly as much fun without the company of Wendy’s or Hershey’s. But I do feel healthier and it was only a week so I guess its all been worth it.
Back to the house thing, do you think I’m the kind of girl who lives in a house with a blue living room? I know I can’t go pink, maybe green, a peaceful spa green seems fairly neutral but not so neutral that its tan or some variation of tan. But it occurs to me that maybe living room only look good in color on television, maybe beige doesn’t read well on the screen so they always go with great colors but you know in real life beige is very popular, and it does look nice, variations of eggshell and what not. Several friends have colorful kitchens and dining rooms so I think I’m fine there, but I don’t know if I’m a yellow kitchen kind of girl I have a blue kettle I really like and I think it might be nice with a yellow backdrop. You know what I want when I move a kitchen aid mixer, and they come in a million colors. Kelly I seriously don’t know how you deal with being an insomniac – I’ve only had it one night and I’m going crazy. If I hadn’t just finished this whole healthy body thing I would totally have a drink. One would think I would have some kind of sleepy tea in my cupboard.
I hope you are all well, and your summers are off to a good start.
Back to the house thing, do you think I’m the kind of girl who lives in a house with a blue living room? I know I can’t go pink, maybe green, a peaceful spa green seems fairly neutral but not so neutral that its tan or some variation of tan. But it occurs to me that maybe living room only look good in color on television, maybe beige doesn’t read well on the screen so they always go with great colors but you know in real life beige is very popular, and it does look nice, variations of eggshell and what not. Several friends have colorful kitchens and dining rooms so I think I’m fine there, but I don’t know if I’m a yellow kitchen kind of girl I have a blue kettle I really like and I think it might be nice with a yellow backdrop. You know what I want when I move a kitchen aid mixer, and they come in a million colors. Kelly I seriously don’t know how you deal with being an insomniac – I’ve only had it one night and I’m going crazy. If I hadn’t just finished this whole healthy body thing I would totally have a drink. One would think I would have some kind of sleepy tea in my cupboard.
I hope you are all well, and your summers are off to a good start.
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